Steven Moffat Quotes (Author of Doctor Who) (2025)

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“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.”
― Steven Moffat

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“We're all stories, in the end.”
― Steven Moffat

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“There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.”
― Steven Moffat

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“When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end. But however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever for one moment, accepts it. Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. (In the library, the Doctor walks back to the TARDIS. He stops, looking at the doors. Then he raises his hand, and stands there poised like that for a long moment. Finally he snaps his fingers. The doors open. He smiles slowly and walks in, joining Donna. Then he snaps his fingers again, and the doors close. River's voice continues over this.) Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair, and the Doctor comes to call... everybody lives.”
― Steven Moffat

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“The universe is big, its vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Bow ties are cool.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Reinette: One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Amy Pond: 'I thought... well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.'
The Doctor: 'Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. [He Smiles] I am definitely a madman with a box.”
― Steven Moffat

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“The Doctor: Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink.”
― Steven Moffat

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“The Doctor: Doctor Song, you've got that face on again.
River: What face?
The Doctor: The "He's hot when he's clever" face.
River: This is my normal face.
The Doctor: Yes it is.
River: Oh, shut up.
The Doctor: Not a chance.”
― Steven Moffat

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“You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!”
― Steven Moffat

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“The Doctor: 'You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine, but you really think they're lying to make you feel better?'
Amelia: 'Yeah...'
The Doctor: 'Everything's going to be fine.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Come on, Rory! It isn't rocket science, it's just quantum physics!
-The Doctor (Matt Smith)”
― Steven Moffat

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“I'll be a story in your head. That's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? 'Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back.”
― Steven Moffat

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“River Song: Use the stabilisers!
The Doctor: It doesn't have stabilisers!
River Song: The blue switches!
The Doctor: The blue ones don't do anything, they're just... blue!
River Song: Yes they're blue: they're the blue stabilisers! [presses the button and the TARDIS indeed stabilises] See?
The Doctor: Yeah? Well, it's boring now, isn't it? They're boring-ers! They're blue... boring-ers!
Amy: Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS?
The Doctor: You call that flying the TARDIS? [scoffs] Ha!
River Song: Okay, I've mapped the probability vectors, done a foldback on the temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination and... [presses a button, the cloister bell clangs] parked us right alongside.
The Doctor: Parked us? But we haven't landed!
River Song: Of course we've landed; I just landed her.
The Doctor: But it didn't make the noise.
River Song: What noise?
The Doctor: You know, the... [does an impression of the TARDIS materialisation sound]
River Song: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.
The Doctor: Yes, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.”
― Steven Moffat

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“The Doctor: This is bad, I don't like this. [kicks console and yells in pain] Never use force, you just embarrass yourself. Unless you're cross, in which case... always use force!
Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?
The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.
Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?
The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Now stop talking to me when I'm cross!”
― Steven Moffat

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“The Doctor: Oh, now what's this, then? I love this. A big, flashy-lighty thing. That's what brought me here. Big, flashy-lighty things have got me written all over them. Not actually, but give me time... and a crayon.”
― Steven Moffat

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“I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.”
― Steven Moffat, A Study In Pink

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“It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.”
― Steven Moffat

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“You should always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you. Rule 408.”
― Steven Moffat

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“The Doctor: [aiming gun at the ceiling] Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap.
Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir?
The Doctor: Me. [fires]”
― Steven Moffat

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“[The Doctor, Capt. Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.]
The Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! GO! TO! YOUR! ROOM! [The children lurch away and obey him.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Geronimo!”
― Steven Moffat

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“Rule 1: The Doctor lies.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life.
The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Never knowingly be serious. Rule 27.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas!
The Doctor: Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?
Rose: [shocked] What?
The Doctor: And everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives! I need more days like this! Go on, ask me anything; I'm on fire!”
― Steven Moffat

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“You don't want to take over the universe. You wouldn't know what to do with it beyond shout at it.”
― Steven Moffat

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“Angel Bob: Doctor? Excuse me, hello, Doctor? Angel Bob here, sir.
The Doctor: Ah, there you are, Angel Bob. How's life? Sorry, bad subject.
Angel Bob: The Angels are wondering what you hope to achieve.
The Doctor: Achieve? We're not achieving anything. We're just hanging, it's nice in here: consoles; comfy chairs; a forest... how's things with you?
Angel Bob: The Angels are feasting, sir. Soon we will be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel, this world, and all the stars and worlds beyond.
The Doctor: Yeah, but we've got comfy chairs. Did I mention?
Angel Bob: We have no need for comfy chairs.
The Doctor: [amused] I made him say 'comfy chairs'.”
― Steven Moffat

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